5 Relationship Tips to Staying Connected During the Holidays

The holidays can bring a lot of joy, connection, warmth, and the remembrance of sweet memories. But it’s not always like that, right? The holidays also comes with a lot of stress, tight schedules, expectations, and good ole family dynamics! I’m sure you’ve experienced going to a family gathering and seeing your partner change once they’re around their family. There are lots of reasons that this happens which I won’t go into here but it can leave you feeling less like a couple. Here are my tips for staying connected and having better communication during the stressful times of the holidays.

1. Once everyone has gone to bed dedicate time to check in with your partner. Ask them how the day was for them: what were their highlights and what were their low points. Ask for feedback on how tomorrow could be better. Having this check in with each other aligns your relationship again and you’re ready the next morning and all it brings. You can also check out my friend and colleague’s blog entitled: Voice, Accountability, and Gratitude Technique.

2. When you’re sitting next to each other at the table or on the couch reach over and hold their hand. This will ground you and remind you of your connection and release the calming hormones that you may need.

3. Give your partner some grace when they are acting differently than they do when it’s just the two of you. Embrace this new perspective of who they are and see if you can learn more stories about them.

4. If you feel an argument with your partner coming on, go to a private place to talk it out. As much as the other family members may want to help, adding their opinions and dynamics can send your argument into a very confusing and hurtful place. Excuse yourself to repair and understand each other and then come back for the fun and food!

5. If you need to take a break from it all allow yourself to go for a walk or go back to your room to unwind and ground yourself for a bit. Let your partner know that you are doing this and that you were coming back.

I hope these tips are tools you can use throughout the next couple of weeks. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Please reach out if you are looking for northern Colorado couples counseling (Berthoud, Loveland, or Fort Collins)!