Good boundaries with extended family in marital conflict

Maintaining boundaries with extended family when it comes to your marital conflicts can be challenging but is important for the health of your relationship. Here are some strategies to consider:    

1. Communicate with Your Spouse: Have an open and honest conversation with your spouse about your concerns regarding family involvement. Agree on how you both want to handle conflicts and what boundaries you want to set.    

2. Present a United Front: When dealing with extended family, it’s essential to show a united front. Agree on what information or issues you are comfortable sharing with them, and make sure you both communicate the same message to them.

3. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish boundaries with your extended family regarding your marital issues. Let them know that while you appreciate their concern, you and your spouse need space to work through problems together.

4. Limit Information Sharing: Be selective about what details you share with extended family members. Avoid divulging too much about your conflicts, as this can invite unwanted opinions and interference.

5. Request Privacy: Politely but firmly request privacy when necessary. Let your family know that you and your spouse need space and time to address issues without outside interference.

6. Be Assertive: If a family member oversteps boundaries or offers unsolicited advice, assertively but respectfully communicate that you prefer to handle the matter within your marriage.

7. Redirect Conversations: If family members bring up your marital conflicts, try to redirect the conversation to more neutral or positive topics. This can help shift the focus away from your problems.

8. Limit Contact: In extreme cases, you may need to limit contact with family members who consistently meddle in your marital affairs. This should be a last resort, and you should consider it carefully.

9. Seek Professional Help: If your marital conflicts persist or worsen, consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist. A professional can help you and your spouse work through issues more effectively.

10. Express Gratitude: Acknowledge your family’s concern and support, but explain that you and your spouse are working on your issues together. Express gratitude for their love and concern while gently asserting your need for privacy.

Remember that maintaining boundaries with extended family is about protecting your marriage and fostering a healthy, independent relationship with your spouse. Open and respectful communication with both your family and your spouse is key to achieving this balance. Click here for more information on this topic.

If you are looking for marriage therapy in Loveland, CO or surrounding areas, contact me! I can also offer online therapy for the state of Colorado and Wyoming. Let’s get started on creating a more connected and united relationship!