When your significant other doesn’t get along with your family

When your spouse doesn’t get along with or doesn’t like your family, it can be challenging, but it’s essential to address the situation constructively. Here are some steps to consider:    

1. Communicate Openly: Have an honest and non-confrontational conversation with your spouse about their feelings. Encourage them to express their concerns and listen attentively without becoming defensive.

2. Understand the Reasons: Try to understand why your spouse feels this way. Ask questions to clarify their concerns or any specific incidents that may have caused tension.

3. Empathize: Acknowledge your spouse’s feelings and validate their perspective. Let them know that you appreciate their honesty and that you want to work together to find a solution.

4. Maintain Boundaries: Ensure that both you and your spouse have healthy boundaries with your respective families. This may involve setting limits on the amount of time spent with family or the extent of involvement in family affairs.

5. Seek Compromise: Explore possible compromises that can make family interactions more manageable for your spouse. This might involve attending family gatherings together, setting guidelines for visits, or agreeing on ways to handle family conflicts.

6. Mediate if Necessary: If conflicts between your spouse and family members persist, consider mediating discussions between them. A neutral third party, such as a therapist (like me), can help facilitate these conversations.

7. Encourage Positive Interactions: Promote positive interactions between your spouse and your family. Encourage them to spend time together in relaxed settings where they can get to know each other better. Read this article to find some exercises on how to talk more positively to each other!

8. Stay Neutral: Avoid taking sides in conflicts between your spouse and your family. Instead, focus on being a supportive and understanding partner.

9. Prioritize Your Spouse: Make it clear to your spouse that you prioritize your relationship with them above all else. Let them know that their happiness and comfort are essential to you.

10. Consider Professional Help: If the issues persist and create significant strain on your marriage, consider seeking the help of a couples’ therapist or marriage counselor. A professional can provide guidance and strategies to improve the situation. 

Remember that it’s natural for people to have differences and conflicts in relationships, including those with in-laws or extended family. The key is to handle these situations with empathy, open communication, and a commitment to finding common ground that respects both your spouse’s feelings and your family relationships.

If you are looking for marriage therapy in Loveland, CO or surrounding areas, contact me! I can also offer online therapy for the state of Colorado and Wyoming. Let’s get started on creating a more connected and understanding relationship!